- Employees are no longer required to wear earplugs.

- Waitstaff is invited to join our complimentary calligraphy workshop!

- Samsa's signature stew salt levels have been reduced in accordance with c21-7 health & safety legislation.

- Installed state-of-the-art 24bit high-definition cutting board and blender.

- Contract work in the storage room has completed; further sightings of unidentified humanoid shapes have to be reported immediately.

- Vermin infestation in the backrooms may have been reduced slightly.